Wow i haven't blogged in a really long time... no worries though.
This past week has shown me how life can change in an absolute instant and there really is nothing you can do to stop it. If you haven't heard four people were murdered this week, two in Brockport and two in Canadaguia (sorry if I spelled that wrong I always do). But regardless the two people who were murdered in Canadaguia were one of my best friends dad and step-mom. I mean you hear about stuff happening like this all the time but you never think that it could happen to someone you're so close to. When he first told me what happened I didn't even believe him because it just seemed like something like that could never really happen. Just a few weeks ago me and my friend and his dad went hiking and it was so much fun. Regardless I was heartbroken, his dad and step-mom were possibly some of the sweetest people I've ever met and were always so nice to me whenever I came over, and it's not even like his dad died of a disease or natural causes, they were shot in their own home with their own kids locked in the next room listening. I don't even understand how someone could do that to someone else and not even just them but their whole family, I find it so disturbing and excuse my language but really fucked up.
I personally don't have a lot of experience with death so I had no idea how to comfort him, and it's not like there's much you can for someone after something as traumatic as this happens. I've never been to calling hours or a funeral before but I went to both this week and it was by far one of the most awful things I've ever been to. The calling hours were just so surreal and when you look at their coffins sitting there you just think to yourself "Holy shit their bodies are in there". I went with all of his roommates and they told me that calling hours were way worse then the funeral so I should be okay there but that definitely is not true. The funeral was by far the worst thing I've ever been to. To hear someone's kids talk about how much they miss their mom and dad and how they don't understand why this is happening is so disturbing. Their youngest daughter collapsed on the stage in tears and it just broke my heart.
The funeral was held in a church which weirded me out even more ( sorry if this offends anyone I just personally have a lot of issues with religion in general). I don't understand how there can be a God when things like this happen to people who are so undeserving of them. My heart breaks for them and their entire family and I don't know how I could even go on if it was one of my parents..

RIP Christopher and Kimberly Glatz.... you will never be forgotten:(

This is a rant. I really am sorry that my whole blog has become a rant it makes me sound like such a bitter person but venting is somewhat helpful.

I am really sick of school. Isn't senior year supposed to be so easy and just fly by? Apparently not. I'm actually being a little overdramatic it's not that I have a lot of work, just absolutely no time to do it. And my life has become extremely repetitive for me every single week I do the exact same thing over and over again. I'll give you a recap of what I did last week...and the week before that and the week before that.

monday- school. homework.usually i just hang out at home and try to catch up on school workfor the rest of the night
tuesday-school. dance 4 till ten. homework. shower. sleep
wednesday-school.dance 4 till ten. homwork. shower. sleep
thursday-school.dance 4 till ten. homework. shower. sleep
friday-school. work 4 till 9. shower. maybe go out with friends afterwards?
saturday- dance eleven till two. this is my day off:)
sunday- work 7 to 3. shower. homework. sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

I do this exact same thing every single week. I have no life. I dance 18 hours a week so I'm too tired to do anything else when I actually have free time so I just sleep or do homework that I never have time for. And the sad thing is I probably won't make dance my career so where is all of this going? Absolutely no where. Don't get me wrong I love dance more than anything but sometimes it just takes up so much of my life that I don't really see the point in it anymore. And then there are these whiny kids who are always like "I had (whatever sport they do) practice till seven last night and I'm so exhausted I don't know how I'm going to make it through the day. Big deal when you were getting ready to go to sleep last night I was at the ballet barre sweating my ass off. Again sorry for this rant I don't even know how to be mean to people so I don't know how I wrote this but I apoligize if I sound really bitter. Well I'm off to work on physics! Good night journalism class.

College....(sigh)

I am finally done with the college application process...... I think. It has possibly been one of the most stressful experiences of my life, except for maybe getting my period (Ha! just kidding I told you I'd get you back Doug and Eli for only writing about sports). Now I'm just sitting and waiting for three letters from the colleges I applied to seeing if they want me at their school or not. It doesn't help that the other day I watched that Accepted movie on TV where the main character doesn't get into school anywhere so now I'm basically just terrified that I won't get in anywhere and I'll have to go to MCC and live at home for the next ten years and have no future and end up working in Burger King or some fabulous food establishment. And half of my friends have already been accepted into the schools of their dreams while I'm sitting here biting my nails. Granted I'm probably just being a little over dramatic but I'll excuse myself for it. Even when I get accepted to a school (cross your fingers) it's only the beginning of my stress. I plan to double major in dance and history so I'll basically have to get used to not sleeping at all during the next four years of my life. I'll just stay up and blog while I'm not sleeping!

I honestly have no idea what to write in my blog. What do people even put in blogs? But anyways I'll write about how unbelievably obnoxious our school is, sorry in advance this will most likely be rant. So yesterday in oasis i desperately needed to use a computer to finish my position paper (thank you Mr. Bielinksi for making us do a work cited). So I walk into the oasis and sign in and then I try to sign out to go up to the computer lab or library so i can get some work done. When I'm signing my name on the sheet I realize that there's only one spot open in the computer lab open and no spots open in the library so I'm all excited that I got there first. And then some kid by an undisclosed name practically shoves me out of the way and throws his pass at Ms. Capozzi so she signs it first. She lets him go up to the computer lab while I'm standing there waiting for her to sign my pass. Meanwhile this kid is someone who I'm 99% sure wasn't even going to the computer lab and even if he did he was just going to sit there and play games or watch music videos on the computer for eighty minutes. I asked her if I can still go and she's like "Absolutely not" so obviously I got kind of annoyed and apparently I rolled my eyes or something and she proceeded to scream at me and tell me that I had to calm down and that she's sick of kids yelling at her for absolutely nothing. This was unbelievably aggravating since I wasn't doing anything rude to her in the slightest way so I just walked away. I have dance on Thursday nights from 4-10 so it's not like I could go home after school and do it that night. So I just left with one of my friends who has early dismissal and went home and finished my paper. Me, being a huge nerd, have always been absolutely terrified of skipping school and I've never done it. Until yesterday I never realized how easy it is. You'd think the guys who stands in the little huts would be suspicious of a bunch of girls piled into a car but they didn't even stop us.
But anyways now I'm all paranoid that I'm going to get caught, but I really don't think I did anything wrong. I mean of course I know that skipping school is wrong and that you really aren't supposed to do it but it's not like I skipped school to miss it. I skipped school so I could actually go home and do work instead of sitting in the cafeteria for 80 minutes wasting oxygen. I just think if the school can't provide me resources I need that I should be able to and get them for myself, and if that means leaving school because I can't use one of 200 computers in this school than so be it.